Colourful spring, blossoms galore
Kids in the park, couples hand in hand
A happy hop, a springy skip
Brings smiles to the faces more.
~Alima Kanumilli~
Copyrighted September 5, 2013
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It seems like only yesterday that we got married!! Memories of the first year still come and go in images and it was no bed of roses. I always remember him saying, ‘if we can’t make it the first year, we would never last’. I honestly don’t remember when we found our rhythm or fell into a relationship of husband and wife after that first year, but it has been one picturesque album of memories – some vivid, some hazy, all with the good, the bad and the ugly.
We rolled over speed bumps, hiked mountains tall, clawed ourselves out of deep valleys, and here we are, 20 years after that eventful day of getting hitched, still so much in love if not more, him still structured and organized, and me all over the place skirting around those ;), he has been and continue to be one of my mentors as well as one of my worst critics (amazed we did not kill each other!). I owe who I am today to this amazing person still standing in my life
I am glad that we never gave up on each other, realized we fit very well, like lock and key ;), he still makes me laugh to the boot, and with two beautiful daughters in tow and him by my side, I am blessed and cherish this togetherness as a family, this moment and this very minute!
feeling loved.
We rolled over speed bumps, hiked mountains tall, clawed ourselves out of deep valleys, and here we are, 20 years after that eventful day of getting hitched, still so much in love if not more, him still structured and organized, and me all over the place skirting around those ;), he has been and continue to be one of my mentors as well as one of my worst critics (amazed we did not kill each other!). I owe who I am today to this amazing person still standing in my life
I am glad that we never gave up on each other, realized we fit very well, like lock and key ;), he still makes me laugh to the boot, and with two beautiful daughters in tow and him by my side, I am blessed and cherish this togetherness as a family, this moment and this very minute!
HAPPY 20th ANNIVERSARY “TINGARBUCHI”
—feeling loved.A quite Friday evening. A hot cup of tea with my better half next to me, kids chatting away their day at school…….the bliss!!!! After years of living on the edge, running around like a chicken with its head cut off, totally can breath in the luxury of the quite. Yet I feel restless in the quite, as if I am missing out on things, being lazy or just a couch potato….. then again, I knock myself on the head that it is perfectly alright to enjoy the moment, in this imperfect world. I decided to be selfish and only think of myself for a change…..and it sounds perfectly perfect!
It’s a strange feeling – a feeling of an out of mind experience. Going on a road of self imposed exile, shutting yourself off from the outer circle of your world, diligently keeping the tunnel vision of erasing a past that had left scars, takes a toll on your psyche. As normal as it may be to go through a myriad of emotions due to circumstances, I never considered myself the benefactor of the actions of other people in life. I am what I am, and I will be what I choose to be. I will be the master of what may affect me or what may mold my choices.
Experiences in life took me to the edge of despair and fear. A decision that I had made took me on a route of pain and utter disillusionment. And I did not travel alone on this path. My family was drawn into it, some suspecting, and others unsuspecting. We went around the bend blinded to the fact that we may not have food on the table or a roof over our heads. And the set of friends and from more than a dozen years, have suddenly disappeared. It was not a sight worth seeing nor was it a journey worth driving.
When things settle down, the past has more or less being put to rest, and I feel that I can catch a breath, I get scared to the bone! Is it guilt of the past that still casts its shadows on my present? Maybe. Do I consider myself the victim and want to justify my feelings? I don’t think so. If I have the soul copyright to my pain, then when happiness comes, it falls again, into the bucket of my own copyrights. It is absolutely a human right to breathe in the calm after a storm. It is perfectly legitimate to spend time and money on family and self. It is perfectly legitimate to vegetate and not become a couch potato. And it is perfectly normal to be happy and live in the moment of what you have, sans any guilt and what anyone or everyone has to say or feel that they have a right to say!
